Brew days...and nights

Dann has found a new "hobby".  I really don't think it should be called a hobby anymore.  It should be called an obsession.  He is constantly throwing out terms I don't understand.  "Erin, I SPARGED!"  Yes, I heard this excitedly yelled from the kitchen this morning.  I'll admit, I still have no idea what sparging is.  Or what malted barley, wort, or the various types of yeast he uses are.  I put a look of fake interest on my face and run through my to-do list in my head as he tells me about how he correctly pitched last night.  Apparently, he doesn't mean pitching during a game of baseball.  Sigh.

This all started a few short months ago at Christmas.  While Dann and I were looking at Bed Bath and Beyond for items to add to our registry, he found a Mr. Beer kit.  My mother was kind enough to buy this for him.  $29.99 (with a 20% off coupon!) and one early Christmas morning later, Dann was trying his hand at brewing beer.

My future husband has quickly moved on from this kit.  He states the beer compared to a Coors brew.  He was happy with it, but wanted something more.  He has always loved the more expensive Chimay brews and Belgian ales.  As for me, I can't taste a difference.  I hate beer with a passion.  I think it smells like vomit (maybe that is a curse from high school!?)  Either way, Dann's beer is all his.  I think he is both bothered and relieved by this.  I'm sure he would like me to be interested in his creations, but then again, I won't ever steal any of his precious beer.  I'm more of a red wine girl.  I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Now, Dann has his "Saturday brew days."  The day is spent making our house smell awful.  I'm sure he can tell you each and every step in the process.  All I know is that he takes a ridiculously large pot and an even larger Coleman cooler that he messed with for hours, mixes a whole bunch of ingredients, and raises the temperature in our apartment to 75 degrees.  (Okay, THAT, I can live with!)  He's made several batches so far.  One, he did something that caused long chain alcohols to destroy the taste.  Another, a small one gallon wheat brew, turned out well.  We're bringing a bottle for my mother to sample today.  She might as well reap some of the benefits, as she was the one who got this brew ball rolling!

As for now, a 5 gallon Carboy sits on our dining room table.  Protected from the harsh elements, lovingly wrapped in one of Dann's bathroom towels, I'm told the beer is busy fermenting.  The airlock bounces up and down, a sign that the yeast are busy reproducing.  Dann even refers to them as "cute little yeast".  I can think of cuter things, but I guess that's just me.  He tried to give me a lesson on the reproduction cycle of yeast last night.  I had to laugh as he described an asexual process.  I guess he forgot I have a biology major.  Then again, I certainly did not major in beer-brewing.  I have a lot to learn.  

Dann has taken over 100 pictures in the last few months of his creations.  I will share a few of least repetitive nature.  I can look at pictures of Carson all day; when it comes to beer, I think one of each brew is enough.

Dann trying his first Mr. Beer brew

Dann's huge pot from 888 Market

One plus about all this brewing - Dann finally threw out the desk I hated so much in order to make room for all of his beer brewing supplies!  Downsize SUCCESS!

Dann's first all grain brew.  Unfortunately, it did not turn out well.  (MOST unfortunate because the hops he used made our house smell awful for several days.) 

Another picture of Dann's failed brew, several days later.

I swear he isn't in the doghouse.

Our refrigerator.  Half for beer, half for food.

Dann with his 5 gallon all grain brew and a "baby" 1 gallon wheat brew

Thanks Mom, for furthering this obsession.  Dann on his birthday with a gift certificate to Bacchus and Barleycorn.

I have no idea what is going on in here.  I'm fairly sure, however, that the cooler was not intended for this use.

Again.  Something the cooler was never intended for.  

This is what heats up our apartment (but also makes it smell AWFUL.)

Again, poor cooler!  I think this is the malted barley.

The carboy, ready to ferment away.  Notice the towel, ready to embrace the carboy and shield it from the "harsh" conditions in our apartment (67 degree temperatures, a ceiling fan, 60 watt light bulbs!?!).  Such a nice thought.

Fermentation.  Dann would like me to point out the layer of "yeasties."

I will leave you with a video that Dann took.  Apparently, you can see fermentation actively taking place.  PLEASE, turn up the volume, and listen to his documentary-style voice as he describes what is happening.  And try not to pee your pants from laughing so hard.  (If you continue to watch the whole thing, you can hear me start to laugh really hard near the end.  And don't worry, we aren't torturing Carson, he was just whining to get out of his kennel while Dann made his home-movie.)

As sarcastic and annoyed as this post may sound, I am glad Dann has something to keep him company.  While I'm in residency, he can brew up a storm.  Plus, he is going to make a lot of the beer for our wedding (for anyone who enjoys beer, this should be a treat!)  I just wish I could understand the obsession behind it, although I'm glad I don't as it requires a lot of time and patience.

As I am typing this, Dann turns at me with a huge schoolboy smile and says, "Look, a brewing show on PBS!  Amazing, huh?"  Sure, honey.  Amazing.

The real cutie in our house!